北京難以承受之重（原發表於FTchinese.com）

FT中文最近成了"迁都"辩论论坛，只因为FT出的一份"中国报告"。我的观点不是支持迁都与否，而是如何保持北京的发展和继续提高其国际化的地位。 纵观了一遍读者来信，从字里行间不难看出，读者基本上"都不是北京人"，对北京的"老大哥"地位颇有微辞。这一对北京的反感态度基本决定了论述的结果，如果单靠这种"谁是老大我找谁碴儿"的态度去迁都，那迁哪都不合适。 说实话，作为在北京长大的人来说，我不喜欢记忆中的城市给扩建成现在的样子，北京口音已经与那些被打上"拆"的胡同儿一起，被五湖四海的杂音与千篇一律的居住小区所埋没。 外来人只看到拥挤的交通和污染的环境，却没看到外来的膨胀"人口"才是北京真正无法承受的力量，而决非"首都"2字。所有人在这里谈到的环境问题、交通问题、就业问题无不是由此引发的。 有读者提到"首都"才是吸引人来的原因，那为何不见美国人都往华盛顿扎堆儿？关键是北京承受了太多称之为中心的东西：政治、经济、文化、教育、旅游、奥运…… 我相信世界上还没有一个城市要同时承担如此多的"中心"头衔，这么些重任放在任何一个其他城市的头上也只有直接压垮那座城市的份儿。 我认为减轻人口负担的关键，一方面要通过严格控制北京的移民数量，同时要对北京职能进行削减，从而减轻对外来人才的依靠。 控制移民流进的关键，一是要减轻北京在经济上的带头作用，另一方面便是对职能的重新定义。 "经济中心"职能在繁荣了北京的外表同时，带来了不可忽视的环境问题和资源浪费问题，带来了高楼和马路，却抹平了北京最有特色的胡同和民俗。 而"政治文化教育"中心职能更适合于北京的历史与现况。中央机关及对外使领馆机构、商业代表处及各种组织协会的存在、丰富的国内外文化活动、数量及质量均居全国之最的大学，这些才是作为北京真正区别于其他城市的核心竞争力，也是北京无法被其他城市所替代的真正原因。 首都并不需要是经济中心，这是我希望大家能够明白的一个基本道理。

Test on email published blog

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Is life full of competition and tensions? (original Essay published@24th, June २००६)

For most of the people, life is meant to be grabing. Like the baby's given borning, the first thing the baby knows what to do after he/she comes to this world, is to hold the fist tight, like holding something precious. When human-being grows up, they learnt more, and know how to grab more. They learnt that many things is valuable, or I prefer to say: Priceable, so that they can measure how much they can grab, and how much more to. What can we grab? $$$, women, men, resources (natural or produced), celebrities and privileges. That is it? Think so. For the above six elements/terms, human-beings have been fighting even before the civilisation is emerged, even since the life form was formed. We know we are tired some time on the way of chasing after things, we know that so-called goals, objectives, targets, mission statements, achivements, scores, grades, or whatever it is, after reaching it, there is numberless more to be waiting on the way to be named in the list of the Hall of Fame of Human. Greedy is best partner of grabing, they always love and care each other. For the least judgement, I got to hear my heart, hear what it says. I found a book in Massey University's new arrival book shelf several years ago, it said "Home is where your heart is" (此心安處是吾鄉). I was immediately shocked there, since it reminds me that I haven't really found one yet, since then I begin to hear my heart's words, but unfutunately, I haven't got the affirmative answer. I am not quite sure if it is the desire that makes the hearts and minds lost, but there are definitely some of us are wiser and know how to make the hearts feel the peace and enjoyness. Problem is that I don't know who they are, but I know for the most of us, they chase and grab even when they realise the occupying of the six elements can't really bring the happiness but conflicts and wars. They are most of us, they are not least wise if they are not fool. And after I read about how mad the Thailand monks are about the World Cup 2006, I doubt if the religion can really calm all of our hearts. I am not a saint, I admit that I am quite ordinary, so ordinary that I can't compete with others to prove any exceedingly predomination, so ordinary that I can't lie or pretend to be someone, so ordinary that I know it is "me" who is feeling the world and trying to make sense of it, that "me" could have a name, which is called by all sorts of intentions. I am so ordinary that I also have desire to love someone, and to be loved back. I am so ordinary that I don't know how to protect my frank heart to show that I love some one, which occurs hurts sometime in return. Sorry I just can't help it. However, I am an ordinary person who is looking for a home for my heart, even though there seems no hopes at all. For most of us, life is meant to be occupying and fighting and competing and struggling or whatever things you have to try the fucking best, before the limited time is running out, even though they know that: The fist will be released at last. Thanks for your reading, and leave comments if you are ordinary.

原貼發表於2006年3月15日

It was an impressive party, just like the one Q talked about held in his aptment, there were nearlly 20 people out there, it really takes time to recall their nationalities, like the first man in that party I met was in that elevator and he is a puerto rican! Amazing, I don't remember I even meet a puerto rican in NZ hah~He got a cap with BLCU on! Good shit...First impression left for me was he was a salesperson with all the takeaway boxes on both of his hands, I forgot that I was in Beijing and it was not supposed to see any overseas man working as a muffin man! hah! Nice to see Elisa since first time and last time we met in last Sep, for Mid-Autumn. Things have apparently changed alot since then, like Cui has disappeared, Mei has gone back for good, Kehu mate has back and got a fiancee(at least he told me like that), FF...Elisa got a bf, I re-met with Yang in Beijing, I turned back to become a bachelor again and found myself being fond of my young graduate female work colleague, who is busy with two guys chasing after her. And there are something haven't changed much yet, like I am still playing music, and still fucking sensitive and fragile. Back to the topic, I was the one of two chinese there that night, and another one is a female chinese language teacher who rarelly talked or understood English, which the other attendenters were talking all the time. She used to be the landlord of Elisa and charged Elisa 1700 bucks per month, which became the main reason Elisa moved to this cheaper place and held this New Apt party, hah! As that language teacher told me latter, those International Students could probably never learn how to speak Chinese, I largely agree according to what I experienced. They r wasting time if they keep using English as the communicaton language, but anyhow, I don't mind using English as it is always good practice for me;) Let's make it easier to describe this party, I will try to mock what I learnt from Super Naive, which will make sense in much easier way: There was a Canadian girl called Tarnia and cursed Motherfucker to a US-borned Chinese, who hitted her ass in hard, well, she kept smiling during both sessions. First time met Kazakhstan? There were about 4? One looks like a Mogolian/Chinese, one looks like a East-Asian and another one looks like a Hybrid from Russia and Asia, another one was a Female and was very charmming (apart from adolescent whelk) looking, partner of East-Asian Kazakhstan one. Oh yeah, first time I saw a Real Anthem Flag of Kazakhstan too:) For some reasons remaind unkown to me, one of takeaway box was a meal with horse-meat! I suppose that was Kazakhstan cuisine?? Canadian girl is thinking of STAYING HERE AND doing undergraduate in either Peking or Tsinghua University (THU), I wonder how will she cope with language since she didn't say anything in Chinese, well at least that night. Canadian girl has got a bf from Belgium, who was going to perform for very first time in Lush (refer to previous blog), and yeah, I mentioned the boss was a rapper. Belgium guy is called Mahhah? And he plays guitar. Elisa has got a ...least queen-sized double-bed. Another Texas guy has a US-borned chinese gf, who can speak better chinese learnt from her Chinese parents।

Summary

• Kazakhstan could be looked as any ethics apart from Blacks
• Yankee could be very possiblly a Chinese descent
• I can like the fruit wine better than other normal wines!
• Felt like being in a house in NZ as they have carpet covered on the floor
• Most of females are coquettish
• I was thinking of Jun during the party, shit.